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THINGS I WON'T MISS ABOUT THE CURRENT 'ECONOMIC DOWNTURN'|
April 19, 2010 - So this whole 'economic downturn' that's plagued America for the better part of two years now has grown tiresome, even as new highlights about the absolute corruption of the banking system hits the news on a daily basis. Even though Austin wasn't hit too hard by the malaise, I think I speak for most Americans about how tired I am of all of this and long for the days of not necessarily a prosperous bubble, but some positive growth and a spring in our economic step.
If that day comes, here's the things I'll miss least about our current state of affairs:
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Money for Nothing!
| CASH LOANS, CAR TITLE LOANS, PAYDAY LOANS
Nothing is more depressing than seeing the sheer number of these businesses that have popped up all over Austin. Doing nothing more than preying off the poorest of the poor, these businesses charge interest and make ridiculous offers of quick cash to those who can afford the terms the least. Two months
to pay back a loan on your car? 15-20% interest on receiving your paycheck a few days ahead of time? Even Shylock would have to sit back and clap at the sheer audacity of the loaners and the sheer desperation of the poor folks. | |
Gold Owner
| PEOPLE WHO BUY AND HORDE GOLD AND SILVER
Near the intersection of Paranoia Lane and Right Wing Nutjob Avenue there is a little place that will sell you gold and tell you its the only investment that goes up in value and is the only true stable form of currency that will survive the New World Order's takeover of the planet. I thought about mailing away all
my gold coins, rings and jewelry to one of those cash for gold places, but realized I didn't have any, and a newfound sense of depression overtook me. Then I realized I didn't have a gun or canned rations to last three months and I was left to wonder if I was truly alive.
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Fashion & Statement!
| POPULIST BULLSHIT
Every year Americans get their panties in a bunch a little bit more and have surpassed every other country in the known universe for being spoiled, selfish dickwads whose arrogance and goddamned ignorance makes the concept of a democracy a nearly indefensible term. Just so everyone knows, I'm applying these labels with equal aplomb to both
sides of the aisle, so don't get all touchy feely, alright?
Sit down, shut up and enjoy the benefits of early retirement, free education, unions, libraries, social services, trash collection and the rest of things that your hard earned, pull yourself up by the bootstraps money has paid for. Quit bitching about how ignorant people in Oklahoma and Utah are. Stop worrying about everything in the universe and try to get your problems straight before complaining about your neighbor, OK? And at least do everyone a favor and do two things
before you go marching with like minded, mildly retarded folks:
1) Proofread and spell check your signs.
2) Put on something more than a pair of American Flag jogging pants with Cheetos stains all over them when you march in unison with other mildly retarded folks.
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Don't be Bullish
| COMPLAINING ABOUT 401K AND RETIREMENT FUNDS
Here's a hint: the Baby Boomers are retiring, meaning they'll be pulling out quad-billions of dollars from what's left of the Stock Market, Social Security is bankrupt, and things are only going to get worse. Start having kids and raise them to be CEO's or help them choose a lucrative career so they can
support your aging self. Having a job through all of this means you're still earning money, and worrying about the 10% drop in your retirement plans may seriously affect that Cancun vacation, and we'll all shed a tear for you. | |
Senile = Stupid?
| REVERSE MORTGAGE AND CREDIT CARD ADS
Another example of the depressing radio and TV ads filling the airwaves with Get Out of Debt Fast! as the only solution to your wreckless spending habits over the past decades. It's sad old folks are trading in their houses for small monthly payments, and how many people, if they do clean up their credit, actually will spend
responsibly once again? Having grandparents who lived through the Depression has made me consider a ketchup and mayonnaise sandwich one white bread is a full meal, and I'm pretty sure the only lesson learned now is to save 39 cents by not supersizing your Big Mac meal.
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They aren't your friends.
| GLAMORIZATION OF PAWN SHOPS
I first ran across the TV show 'Pawn Stars' while on Christmas break last year. It was mildly addicting, but much in the vein that I'm totally addicted to infomercials. Poor man brings in some rare piece of history, the gruff yet jolly bald guy looks it over, brings in an expert, and then offers to buy it for 40-50% of
the price, and dissuading going to an auction house to get full value because, 'they take their cut.' The deal begrudgingly gets done with the clerk telling the poor man, 'This is a unique piece of history and I'd love to have it in my shop.' Of course, off camera there are thousands of payday loans, and lesser pieces of jewelry and kitchy knick knacks being sold to pay for groceries, rent and the like, but that's OK, because this airplane propeller may or may not be Charles Lindberg's! Oh, and somehow,
the History Channel saw this as fitting programming for its station. | |
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RECENT & UPCOMING SHOWS:
FEBRUARY 10, 2010
EAST SIDE ART VS. EAST SIDE POLITICS
MONKEYWRENCH BOOKS,
AUSTIN, TEXAS
MARCH 6, 2010
CAFE MUNDI ART BAZAAR
CAFE MUNDI, EAST AUSTIN
MAY 14, 2010
ANNUAL 5x7 SHOW
ARTHOUSE, AUSTIN, TEXAS
JUNE 5, 2010
CURIOUS ROOM SUMMER SHOW
GROUP ART SHOW
FLATBED PRESS, AUSTIN, TEXAS
FALL, 2010
TALES OF THE
REALLY WHITE VIGILANTE
VOLUME FOUR
NOVEMBER, 2010
EAST AUSTIN STUDIO TOUR
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TALES OF SCHLIEFKEVISION:
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SCHLIEFKEVISION T-SHIRTS:
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