On one side, there's the voice of change, our little, young black friend Barack Obama. As a relative once spoke of him, 'What kind of name is Obama? I mean,
can someone named that ever be president?' This was well before his spirited run through the primaries, when my relative's true arch enemy at the time was of course, the always virtuous Hillary Clinton. This statement was particularly ironic seeing as she was the daughter of first generation Americans who have a Polish surname worth a whopping 34 points in scrabble. I'll admit to hoping our young black friend
gets elected. For one thing, it'd be nice if the deck chairs got re-arranged at least once before the whole ship goes down, and on almost reverse racist charge, I'll admit it'd be a great thing if a black man actually was elected President. While the clips of his speeches that I have seen are pretty well written and spoken, which, gasp, should piss off the Republican base enough to even insinuate the American President should be well spoken and articulate in nature instead of being 'one of the good ole boys you'd like to share a beer with.'
At the Democratic Convention, my friends in Denver were shut out of the 'lottery' for tickets to the big acceptance speech, mostly because they haven't donated to the Dems. They also reported on the Saturday before the convention, they were downtown and saw the shocktroopers riding through downtown keeping an ever vigilant watch over protesters and troublemakers. The scene was described as shocking - rows of black, armor clad policemen with bands of plastic handcuffs hanging from their belts, tear gas guns on their
sides, and carrying large coffees from Starbucks in their hands. Of course, the speech was so well received it even brought Republican speechwriter Pat Buchanon on the verge of tears describing it. That night, McCain released a smug congratulatory ad, and no one could prepare themselves for what would happen next, to permanently wipe Obama's speech off the front pages
forever: McCain's pick for Vice President. Now, I'm still not even sure what this woman's name is, and I hope I never really have to learn it. But the details that emerged in the early hours were salacious: an inexperienced woman from Alaska who was mayor of a small town of 8,000 people for four years, and governor for two, Miss Alaska runner up, under investigation for a political issue with the State Troopers, she had it all lined up where no person in their right mind could ever fathom such a candidate to be
a heartbeat away from the Presidency serving under a 72 year old war vet who's fought cancer continuously.
| And then it happened - I came to the realization this poison pill was actually the sweetest nectar for the Republican base - so anti-abortion, so pro-gun rights, so pro-oil, so pro-family, this woman was the living, breathing reincarnation of Jesus Christ for
evangelical Christians. Combined with her safe looking, snowmobiling champion, goateed husband who would be a perfect drinkin' buddy for any redneck in Maine, Alabama, Wyoming or Alaska, I started to see the genius of such an incredibly bold gambit.
Combined with a bunch of pissed off and confused women voters lost without their esteemed leader in the race, as well as the chance to gamble while running against a black man, the Republicans called all in well before the final card was dealt. And looking at the prospects, it seems like playing this out to the end won't do any good for anyone. |
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My thoughts flashed to Idiocracy when I saw a picture of our future second Man or whatever you want to call our VP pick's husband. There was a quick scene when they showed a bunch of trailers and campers parked around the Washington Mall, which was filled with jetskiing rednecks making waves. To gauge the true affect of our Lady in Waiting, the non-Virgin Mary, take a state like Pennsylvania - rich
with urban voters who will most likely vote Democratic in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, will be overpowered by a reinvigorated Republican base in the rural areas of the state to counter and overtake the voter count. Add in states like Ohio, Missouri, Florida, Michigan and the like, the influence on the Electoral College is profound, and the true genius of the Republican committee who put this move in motion shines brightly. There's a saying about American politics that the American people get what they deserve
and deserve what they get. Imagine, the world, nearing the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012, sees our Vice President take over the reigns when McCain suddenly dies in office. With her snowmobiling champion by her side, her Down's Syndrome child on her hip, and an Oval Office filled with offspring from her children too stupid or religious to use a condom, the American civilization's swan song becomes the Jerry Springer Show. Hollywood couldn't write a better ending. |
