Little updates throughout May and June

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NOTES FROM MAY & JUNE
	May and June were marked with heavy rains, a lot of work in the studio, and enough time to find a bunch of bright spots throughout the internet. Here's some of the news that was fit enough to link to and put yet another piece of the puzzle together in this wild tapestry of life:

MY MALADY?
Living in the era of designer drugs spurred into existence by ridiculous diseases and disorders being pushed by drug companies left and right, it's almost too easy to diagnose yourself with some condition. But stumbling through the internet I think I came across 'depressive realism', a psychological disorder rooted in depression and an ultra realistic view of the world. I've since shared my findings with some close friends, who seem to fall into the same category with great ease. Should I be uneasy about all this?

FROM THE FUNNY 'CAUSE ITS TRUE DEPARTMENT
While flipping through the Urban Dictionary to judge the veracity of my mom's claims the term 'gnar gnar' was Southern California slang for 'cool', it led me down a dark labyrinth filled with dark alleys that made you feel like you just witnessed a violent crime and you retrace your steps backwards in a calm, slow, orderly fashion hoping to not pick up anything you just found. Someway, somehow, I typed in my hometown into the urban dictionary and found a tawdry entry that is really close to the truth.

GESUNDHEIT!
One of my favorite blogs to read is The Sneeze. Put together by a mysterious man in Southern California named Steve, the blog started out with the daring tales of 'Steve Don't Eat It', reminiscent of the heydey of Chris Ate Lunch. He also has pointed out what Boo Berry looked like as a living human being, and a bunch of endearing stories of his child. His entire site is worth a look, so take some time and do some research.

SCOPITONES ROCK MY WORLD
The other day I had the pleasure of meeting Bob and Sharon from Austin's Source One Wallcoverings and gave them the two penny tour of the Bolm Studios complex. I wouldn't let them leave until they watched the amazing Brook Benton video I posted on this site last month, and got a follow up email about the source of the video. Apparently, during the 60's, Scopitones started out in France as an attempt at making a video jukebox. It failed miserably, but the results are outstanding. For more mind-blowing videos, check out Joi Lansing sing 'Silencer' and 'Web of Love', Freddie Bell and Roberta Linn's western romp 'For You', Donna Theodore's innocent ode to 'Femininity', and Jack Glen's French take on the twist in 'Zizi, La Twisteuse'.

ADD IT TO THE LIST
Everybody has something they mispronounce. From dialects, schooling, television or just bad habits, mispronunciations are just part of a person's ingrained way of speaking. Just the other night, a good friend of mine nearly spit out her beer laughing when I mentioned liposuction - pronouncing it with a 'lip-' instead of a 'lipe-'. Despite the propensity of Central Texans to mispronounce almost anything, I've got a list of words I've naturally misspoke since I was a child, which causes lots of my friends to chuckle every time I utter one of them:

museum	rhymes with 'Shazaam'
crayon	rhymes with 'bran'
pecan	rhymes with 'we can'

IT'S A MONSTER!
A good friend of mine has an addiction to Monster Energy drinks much like my well known taste for Nutella. While I have successfully kicked my jar a day habit, my friend continues to down Monster Drinks on a daily basis. While at his shop, a case of the toxic green liquid was crushed, dispensing its contents all over the concrete floor. When he found the mess the next day, the concrete was eaten away. When asked if this was the final nail in the coffin to get him to stop drinking them, he replied, "No way, now I'm too scared to stop!" While urban legends persist about Coke's metal eating abilities, I will soon yield photographic proof of the insane properties of this 'energy' drink.

THE TRIANGLE NEVER LIES
While talking with one of the wisest of all of my artist friends, he told me about 'The Triangle'. It's a fair translation between craftsman and customer, where the customer gets to pick any two of the three legs of a triangle, meaning the third leg becomes the artist's choice. So if a customer wants something high quality and cheap, it'll take a long time. If the want something fast and good, it's going to cost a lot. With so many people taking the work of artists for granted (in all respects - visual artists, woodworkers, sign painters, web designers, graphic designers, etc.), this triangle makes perfect sense and should be brought up at every meeting with a client.

WELL, YOU KNOW HE'S RIGHT...
While I toiled on the set of a reality TV show for a couple of weeks, a barhopping man tried cutting through the alley we were using as a set. A Production Assistant stopped the man, and politely told him they were filming and it was a closed set, and he'd have to walk around. The man laughed and said, "You stupid [person who fornicates with women who have previously procreated]! I own all the white [Kramer's favorite word] [donkeys] in this town!" He continued on and walked through the set on his merry way. Of course, that man does carry a certain cachet in Austin that very few people can claim.

AMOA ANNOUNCES NEW HEAD OF ACQUISITIONS
The Austin Museum of Art is proud to announce the Museum's Finance and Operations Director Nathan Sheppard is the new Head of Acquisitions. Recently charged with burglary and evading arrest for attempting to steal two paintings from the Museum's recent Fine Arts Festival, Nathan should make excellent decisions that will steer the museum's vision and collection in inspiring ways for all Austinites. It's great to know so many people are willing to go so far in Austin to support the arts!!!

THE LATEST STORIES...

+ PINATA TIME!!!
the White Vigilante meets his match
+ A4 PAPER: HOW I LEARNED TO HATE REAGAN
I finally figured out what bothered me all these years...
+ KANSAS CITY BBQ TAKES ON AUSTIN
a gift from the BBQ capital of the universe to Texas
+ VOLUME TWO: THE REALLY WHITE VIGILANTE
an in depth look at the next book in the series
+ THE POLITICAL SEASON
a rare look at politics from this website
+ HOME BEFORE DARK
the depressing journey artists take
+ BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN
the long awaited return to my painting studio
+ NORTH(EAST)ERN EXPOSURE
my two month sabbatical in the North
+ AUSTIN CRITICS' TABLE AWARDS
a surprise nomination, win, and a speech or two
+ IRON MAN AND MY IGNORANCE
my trouble with Hollywood continues
+ A TRIP TO KANSAS CITY
Thanksgiving with friends and the cold

MY COMIC BOOK SIDE PROJECT:
TALES OF THE REALLY WHITE VIGILANTE #1 the satiric tale of one young man's attempts to stop the gentrification of East Austin by becoming a superhero in a Mexican wrestling mask.
TALES OF THE REALLY WHITE VIGILANTE #2 the tale continues with the White Vigilante teaming up with Dos XX during Austin's largest music festival to fight a new, more menacing threat to Austin.