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NOTES FROM JULY & AUGUST |  | May and June were marked with heavy rains, a lot of work in the studio, and enough time to find a bunch of bright spots throughout the internet. Here's some of the news that was fit enough to
link to and put yet another piece of the puzzle together in this wild tapestry of life: |
OF COURSE YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR FIRST TIME...
It was Berlin, December, 1998. Days before St. Nicholas Day. I was an unsuspecting, young,
naive 23 year old staying in a youth hostel in East Berlin. There was a bunch of tourists hanging out in the common area when one girl, a brunette American, was preparing some toast. She spread some brown substance over it that clearly was NOT butter. My inquiring mind asked a few questions, and she flat out refused to hand me a sample. I insisted, and she asked me point blank, with her brown eyes piercing through my inquisitive glaze. "I can't be held responsible if you get hooked."
I laughed, and pressed on for a sample. As soon as Nutella first hit my taste buds, I knew there would be problems. To this day, I carry this addiction, and refuse to let it control me. I don't think I'll ever be cured, but I would like to think I have regained some self dignity in knowing its been three months since I last sat down with a butter knife and enjoyed a full jar in an hour. Apparently, I'm
not alone. |
ZOMBIE BOULEVARD
One of the most annoying things of living in East Austin is the countless folks who mindlessly and continuously cross Airport Blvd.
through all hours of the day. A few of my friends call them zombies - as they just step out through four lanes of traffic without a care in the world. Its quite nerve wracking having to play reverse Frogger with an assortment of lane changes and an endless array of quick braking maneuvers, and yet they are undeterred to cross the road.Today I was driving up the road when the car in front of me came to a quick stop. I slowed, then passed the scene: A 350 pound black sixteen year old,
disheveled and sweaty, was PUSHING a gold Buick INTO A LANE OF TRAFFIC. As if this scene wasn't enough, the final straw was driving past and seeing his similarly sized mother behind the wheel. Folks with brains need not apply no more. |
HIPPIES AND TECHNOLOGY SHOULDN'T MIX
I decided to venture to the west side for some good eats and quickly stopped in for a plate of chicken and veggies at
the Whole Foods World Headquarters. After I checked out I looked for an empty table. I found one next to three hippies who were in the middle of a rather serious discussion. As I was devouring my sweet corn and roasted potatoes, I kept hearing disjointed phrases from the youngest of the three - and the most loquacious. He was talking incoherently about our esteemed President, and said, "I've met him, I've checked too. There's no lizard skin there!". He continued on with the important matters of the world, the problem
banks are having today, and even admitted to getting inside info on stock trades, before launching into a tirade against Martha Stewart.
Besides the annoying tone of his conversation, the hippies sitting with him were a sight to behold - the woman had sunken features, possibly the affects of too much heroin, and the dreadlocked white man in his late fifties wore round glasses and topped off his sandal clad appearance with one of those damn cell phones stuck in his ear like he's some sort of Star Trek Robot. Every time I looked up
astonished at something I overheard, the cell phone earpiece would flash neon blue, and a little piece of my soul would die.
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ANOTHER PASSING FANCY
I got home late one night this week to a confessional email from a friend sharing her child's musical obsession:
a catchy, yet bizarre song by Lily Allen. Multiple viewings left me dazed and slightly intrigued, and I looked into the usual suspects for more information about this big eyed pop star. My friend's child is just about the age when she's understanding lyrics, and
they're left wondering when she starts asking specific questions about the song's content.
Two things are for sure: My friend is relieved at least its clearly an anti-drug song, and my fascination with it will probably sadly last longer than the four year old 's. |
SUMMERTIME COLDS ARE THE WORST
They always hit at the most inopportune times. The past few days
I've been flummoxed by hacking coughs. My lungs, by my best estimate, are about 78% filled with phlegm. Luckily, I can refer to my self diagnosed color of phlegm page to get me better fast.Cheers to Robitussin! | |
BLOND REDHEADS HAVE MORE FUN
Bored by nature's tendency to darken my hair year in and year out, I decided to switch it up a bit and bought some strawberry
blond hair dye. Using the same method I use for children's aspirin and Robitussin (often tripling the dosage to make things work faster and stronger), I needlessly used the entire bottle and left it in my hair for double the recommended time.
After a few nervous moments in front of the mirror before rinsing it out, I re-entered the world with a shiny red mop, and I was soon being schooled into the world of redheads. Stay tuned as my newly volatile redheaded nature spawns a whole new series of misadventures... |
MY NEW PLAN - DESTROY ALL HYBRIDS
Last year Austin had 40 straight days with temperatures over 100 degrees. This summer, we've been deluged with 60
days of steady rain that kept the average temperature in July at a downright amazing 79 degrees, and the temperatures haven't yet hit 100 once this year. If this is global warming, it's an all too convenient truth that should be reveled in while it lasts. |
ON SALES AND COMMISSIONS
Recently, I had a show at a popular, established Austin restaurant. Somehow I was coaxed into
agreeing to do it in the first place, despite my reservations of decorating a restaurant for free.
After dining there late one night with a friend this past week, I was walking out past a table where a couple was studying one of my paintings. They were studying it, and looked to be enjoying it quite a bit. The waiter came up to the table and used the art as an icebreaker, 'Nice painting, huh? A bit pricy though...' I was too tired and didn't want to cause a scene, so I left without saying a word and we headed for the door. Here's an example of just how rich I'm getting off having the
privilege of decorating Kerby Lame's walls for free for a month:
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price of a framed drawing in the show: | | $200 | | 30% commission (inexplicable for any restaurant) | |
$60 | | sales and income taxes | | $60 | | materials (frame, paper, pencils, erasers) | | $30 |
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profit (not including hours worked) | | $50 |
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PERFECTION: THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
Too many conversations I have had lately have begun with the dry statement, from me or the person I'm talking to, "I need
to stop drinking." Even though I only drink sporadically, when I do, its usually a doozy.Recently, I was talking with a good friend about my tendency to drink way too much on a given night. Not being satisfied with a simple buzz after 6 beers, I don't feel compelled to call it a night until the sun is threatening to rise and a twelve pack or two lays empty at my feet. My friend understood, and felt the same plight. She had asked her therapist about her predicament, and he cheerfully suggested that her need to drink way more than she should was rooted in the fact she was a perfectionist, and when
she decided she needed to get drunk and have a good time, she needed to make sure had a good time by going overboard. I told her that her therapist was either trying to get into her pants or was the biggest optimist on earth.
It's funny to think of what other self destructive and bad behaviors can be whisked away under the guise of striving for perfection: Hitler? Serial killers? Politicians? My mind reels... |
MY QUEST FOR THE EARNEST THROUGH THE IRONY
One of my biggest gripes about Austin and the hipsters that infest this town is the lack of earnestness in
everything that is done here. A bravado of self interest and empty posturing invades almost every aspect of life in this town. Of course, 98% of America would rather embrace cheese and empty sentiment, so it's a catch-22 which path you want to follow. I think the biggest challenge in my life is trying to find something meaningful through all the schlocky 24 hour news, bad pop culture, cheap thrills and even cheaper laughs. To this end, I've tried to compile a list of songs that are truly earnest, wistful and hopeful without being
cheesy. So far, I've come up with three:Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Judy Garland
In Dreams - Roy Orbison
He Needs Me - Shelley Duval from Popeye
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I JUST REALIZED
Today my sister and mom are on the coast of Maine, my dad is hanging
out on the southern coast of California, and my brother is in Hawaii. Lucky for me, I'm in the center of Texas and today I've got to go to Home Depot and pick up 2x4's and wood screws. |
COMING ATTRACTIONS
On August 6th, VH1 debuts 'The Pick-Up Artist', which was my
first, and hopefully last foray into the world of Hollywood. I ended up working three and a half weeks in the Art Department dressing sets and doing some odd construction, while stockpiling a wealth of amazingly ridiculous stories concerning the world of reality TV. The show features Mystery, a fancy, world renowned pick up artist who watched his charges use his techniques at a bunch of locations throughout Austin. |
"THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT WOMEN...
...The more I love my truck." It's an old bumper sticker I first ran across during my naive days as a young art
student trying to adapt to the Midwest. Now that I'm older and wiser, I'd like to think that I've turned the corner a bit and have a better understanding of the world around me these days. As evidenced by a recent trip to Casino El Camino to watch the teeming masses get drunk before my eyes, I'm no better off than my youthful days as an 18 year old.I was enjoying a couple drinks with a friend when I saw a nice looking blonde across the courtyard. She was really young, probably only 22, and
surrounded by three frat guys who looked like genuine dufuses. I couldn't help but pity her a bit, hoping she'd be able to get through the night surrounded by those three wolves. While waiting for another round, I glanced over and noticed this young beauty was lighting a cigarette - before my mind could even begin to calculate how out of character this simple act seemed, this innocent, young girl transformed into the over sexualized and evil embodiment of every film noir femme fatale to hit the silver screen simply by the masterful way she smoked her
cigarette. My worries turned towards the three frat boys around her, who obviously had no idea the fire they were playing with that night...
That's how out of whack my spider sense is dealing with women these days. |
IN THE SPIRIT OF SELF HELP
For this link, you'll have to excuse the self importance teachers place on their careers along with the old, trite and
ridiculous jokes that this Englishman brings to the table. (Honestly, who hasn't heard the one about the dumb bitchy 6 year old girl who is drawing God??? Please retire that joke.). Putting aside all of that, this youtube clip of a man with a limp and a English accent scores a lot of points about how education is handled in the US and across the world. With a fair degree of self improvement hanging over my head of late, I stumbled across this clip and
deemed the whole twenty minutes link-worthy. Think back to all those hardworking, overachieving do-gooders who worried way too much about grades and were lampooned so well in Election. Yup, I never thought much of those kids either, and look where it got me: broke and depressed. Still, maybe if enough people fight the good fight, things can change, or am I really that naive still??? |
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ONGOING AND UPCOMING SHOWS
2008
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SATURDAY, OCTOBER 11th | Bearded Lady Printing
East Austin | The Bearded Lady vs. the Really White Vigilante
The graphic work of Michael Schliefke and prints of Bearded Lady | |
NOVEMBER | Rio Rita Cafe y Cantina
East Austin | Solo Painting Show
A show of new paintings | |
DECEMBER 3rd - 24th | Blue Genie Art Bazaar
Monarch Events Center | Blue Genie Art Bazaar
creative gifts for the Holiday Season |
2009
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MAY 2009 | Tales of the Really White Vigilante Volume Three
East Austin | Comic Book Release Party
General Malaise helps our young hero past some pitfalls as new developments hit East Austin. | |
NOVEMBER 2009 | Tales of the Really White Vigilante Volume Four
East Austin | Comic Book Release Party
Does the final volume of the tale of the White Vigilante bring about the end of gentrification? |
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