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"UNLIMITED BY MOUNTAINS OR OCEANS"
NOTES FROM OZ
January 27, 2007 - Kansas City is one of my favorite cities in the world, and the range of jokes that statement carries with it is as nearly limitless as plains that surround the city itself.  Sometimes, the jokes even write themselves, as evidenced by the DESTINATION Kansas City.  The eighty page guide for businesses thinking about relocating Kansas City intends to put the WORLD CLASS (their bold, not mine) city on display, but can't help but showcase the city as it is.

My friend Jodie, herself a thirteen year resident of the fair burgh, brought this to my attention with a special package and the guide filled with highlights, commentary, and dog-ears.  I laughed throughout the entire magazine - with a certain amount of KC pride - so here's a recap of some of the highlights.  I'd love to get on a mailing list to receive similar guides from cities like Albany, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Albuquerque, and whatever other middle of the road cities that try to flaunt their stuff and compare.  Hell, Austin is so in love with itself it publishes a 367 page guide (my bold, not theirs), of which I'm sure there's a good 38 pages on breakfast tacos alone. 

So with all the love and admiration for a truly great American city, here's how the city caught in the middle portrays itself to the outside world:  (thanks to Jodie for pointing out most of this)

  • A Tale of Two (Kansas) Cities:
  • "Legend has it that the city rejected would be names like Port Fonda, Rabbitville and Possum Trot"
  • "In the 1880's, civic leaders in Kansas bundled several little river towns together and called the resulting entity 'Kansas City, Kansas'.  In doing so, they hoped to share in the success of KCK's prosperous namesake in Missouri.  If success did not come immediately, confusion surely did and has lingered to this day."
  • "On the Missouri side, locals call their city just 'Kansas City'.  They don't need to use the state name because, like Dorothy, they just 'have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore'."
    The Life Sciences "Corridor" Stretching Across the Heartland:
  • "There is hope that we will have a Super Bowl in Kansas City ten years from now", he (Irv Hockaday, Jr.) said, "Fifteen years from now, few would remember where the 2016 Super Bowl was played, who played in it and which team won.  There was a Super Bowl in Baltimore once, [but] people remember John Hopkins. . . Having a Super Bowl would be great, being the Super Bowl even greater."
    The Nexus of North American Trade:
  • "To say that Kansas City is at the center of it all is much more than a catchy marketing tagline - it's the absolute truth"
    Real Estate Values:
  • "Kansas City's real estate is much like it's overall economy: while rarely achieving the dynamic peaks of some regions, it never hits the lows, either.  Instead, the area reflects a Midwestern solidness that makes for secure investment."
    The People: Open, Caring and Productive:
  • "There's a well-known Kansas City anecdote that, even if not true, tells a lot about this area:"
    "The story involves a New Yorker who was visiting this Midwest city when he started to wonder if he had either won the lottery or become the nation's most popular celebrity.  The reason?  As he walked down Kansas City area streets, complete strangers would nod or even speak a friendly hello.  In New York and many other areas of the country, even making eye contact can lead to an assault charge.  In KC, and much of the Midwest, nodding to strangers on a sidewalk or making a friendly comment in an elevator is not even  unusual.  They're simply part of the climate along with barbecue and jazz."
          Jodie's comments: "WHAT!" and "One of the worst written paragraphs of all time"
          Michael's comments: "Well, I have to admit to feeling like that New Yorker when I first moved to Kansas City.  I've personally told that same story to people on occasion.  As for the grammar, well, it's awful."
  • "Kansas City has often been described as a 'really big small town' rather than a 'small big city'
  • (the most famous facts about Kansas City:)
    "Fountains, boulevards and expansive parks illustrate another aspect of the city.  Second only to Rome, Italy in the number of commercial fountains (more than 200), Kansas City also has more miles of boulevards than Paris, France"
  • "Kansas City residents may cherish their Midwestern roots, but they also enjoy world-class culture."
    Transportation and Infrastructure:
  • "location, location, location"
    Quality of Life:
  • "Although money may not be everything, ... almost extreme affordability"
  • "Less tangible is an overall feeling of openness and space."
  • "Although some critics justifiably note the region's tendency to excessive urban expansion, the plus side is a sense of freedom that is hard to communicate."
  • "Almost overnight, the region has become an auto racing Mecca with the Kansas Speedway"
  • "The area's five casinos draw visitors regionally"
  • "Oceans of Fun will soon be joined by another water park in Kansas City, Kansas" (for the Central Texans reading this, check out this link)
  • "This metropolitan area does exhibit some sprawl"
    Culture and the Arts
  • "The Nelson-Atkins Museum expansion has stirred some discussion because of its design, glass cubes that flank the more traditional museum.  Although the final results have served to curtail some of the rancor, especially when viewed at night, the episode is another example of the area's sometimes love-hate relationship with its art and culture." 
  • "modern art 'hair curlers' atop Bartle Hall"
  • "Kansas City loves its art, but also loves to critique it"
  • "KC is second to few comparably sized communities in its efforts to create a cultured and elegant environment."
  • "the area's arts and culture have been heralded as a renaissance"
  • "beautifully restored Brush Creek"
    The Center of Education
  • "Good to Great"
  • "It's no stretch to label the I-70/I-29 junction as a major college crossroad in the Midwest"
  • second to last paragraph: "Other recognized programs are offered by the Kansas City Art Institute"
    ECONOMIC CONDITIONS
  • "one of the best kept economic secrets in the country
  • "the third largest truck terminal and the second largest rail center"
    A PRODUCTIVE WORKFORCE
  • "Midwestern work ethic"
  • "workers in the KC region contribute up to 50 percent more value per hour than the national average"
  • "workers who live in the rural areas 50 or 60 miles away from the city can be there in a predictable 50 or 60 minutes."
    THE CENTER OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP
  • "While Kansas City may lack mountains or ocean beaches"
             (Jodie's comment: 'mentioned again'; the first time it was used, in the opening letter, she wrote, 'used here as a positive'.
  • "88 percent of all residents in Missouri and Kansas have at least a high school diploma"
    AMERICA'S HEADQUARTER CITY
  • "Its location almost dead center in the country is a major factor"

And it is all those things, and so many more intangibles, that make Kansas City a great place to live.  I lost track of the number of times that sparkling new 1.5 mile NASCAR track was mentioned, and there were numerous references to the new downtown arena that is 'looking for a basketball or hockey franchise to move in'.  They even mentioned the dinosaur restaurant that Corey finished working on during my last stay in town. 

So if you're ever in the neighborhood, swing by Kansas City and make a go of it for a few days.  Eat as much BBQ as you can stand, starting at Arthur Bryants and Gates, and then just soak up the town.  'Cause really, it's better than a lot of places you've traveled to.