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IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT ITS BEEN...
| July, 2006- It's hard to believe its happening, but on July 17th, it'll be fifty full months that I have not had full time employment of any sort. Time really does fly. As much and as easy as it is to bitch about being broke all the time, wondering where rent will come from in the next thirty days, and whether or not I can afford to eat and pay my phone bill in the same month,
I've managed to survive this long doing what I want to do and I wouldn't trade it for anything. In the past four plus years of 'self employment as an artist', I've done a bunch of things to scrape by: I've sold paintings, drawings, prints, t-shirts, stretchers, frames, easels, taught dozens of classes, put together large group art shows, painted murals, lent a hand on various projects and installations with Blue Genie, animated film projects, and helped install events in
Houston and Dallas.
Somehow, I've been fortunate enough to keep going and painting and doing everything I've ever wanted. Sure there's been sacrifices - I don't have a car, can't travel much anymore, don't see as many shows as I'd like, nor do I go out anywhere near I used to, but I know what my budget and lifestyle allows. You learn to adapt quickly to the basics of living on the edge - I don't bat an eye if my bank account drops below $20 anymore. It only starts to get dicey when I start running out of quarters to spend.
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A memento from a past life
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Of course, the small things are the greatest - not having to pretend to like the job you are doing, waking up each and every day with no practical idea what day it is, and taking a day off in the middle of the week just because you can are all special little treats. I also realize the full extent of the importance of time - gestation and thinking are underrated aspects of art making, and not having to balance a day job frees my mind up to concentrate on my work when I may be doing something a bit more mundane - drinking a beer,
cooking spaghetti, or while unloading my thoughts onto this website and going to bed at dawn.
| But the great thing is finding out just how little you need to get through life. One of my favorite t-shirts I own depicts a cartoon rat with an Uncle Sam hat proudly proclaiming 'American Rat Race Drop Out'. Like most of my clothes, the shirt is pretty
worn and has some paint stains on it, but the motto holds true. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay as independent and unfettered by the harsh realities of poverty that surround me - no health insurance, no savings, no assets, no safety net - but I'll fight to the bitter end. All of my heroes I've always admired had a keen work ethic, a tireless spirit and strength in the face of adversity.
Of all the things my self imposed life of poverty has taught me is just how little you need to really be happy, and how important self-reliance and self-confidence are in the greater scheme of things. I've seen people complaining about their next raise, only to buy a bigger house, a better boat or newer appliances and electronic toys. Getting out of the race and figuring out what's important - family, friends, your dreams - is an invaluable lesson in itself. |
Sometimes nothing's a cool hand
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