AUSThIN Proposed Ordinance

In an effort to make Austin a better, more viable and healthier community, it is the said goal of AUSThIN to rid Austin of a truly epic American social issue: obesity and fat people.  We have been inspired by the triumphant and visionary lead of Onward! Austin's passing of a smoking ban that affects all businesses in Austin, mainly bars and bowling alleys, the founding members of AUSThIN have decided it is the community's turn to band together and rid this town of fat people, for the common good of Austin's future.

Keep Austin Thin!

AUSThIN proposes a two pronged attack on obesity, first by getting City Council members to vote on and pass the initial steps of the AUSThIN plan.  They are as follows:

• Double the food tax on all fast food restaurants, and for good measure beer and liquor.

• Make overweight people purchase an obesity permit.  Permits are will become available at City Hall and your local tax office.  The permit costs $300 and allows the holder not to receive further fines for being overweight.  This permit allows obese people to bypass the fifteen foot fast food exclusion zone that will surround all fast food restuarants.

• All supermarkets and convenience stores will have to match the stock of snack foods, sodas and other high sugar, high calorie snack foods and drinks with an equally accessible fresh, low fat alternatives.

• Passengers at the Austin-Bergstrom Airport will be weighed upon arrival.  Passengers who are overweight will be charged a 'fat usage tax ('FUT') of $20 per day of visit, or will be instructed to purchase a $300 obesity license for stays over 14 days.  The Airport FUT will be added to the Arts and Music budget of the Airport.

AUSThIN believes these steps will be paramount in beginning the fight against obesity and fatness in Austin.  A healthier and thinner Austin means less strain on the healthcare systems, less collective weight carried on our city streets, and will allow the job of Austin's hardworking and industrious bicycle cabs to push a fitter, lighter crowd around downtown on the weekends.

The full fledged ordinance, once petitioned and passed in a city wide vote, hopefully as early as spring, 2007, will strengthen the case against obesity and make fatness and obesity unwelcome in Austin today. The rules and fines that will be enforced in the ordinance are as follows:

• The doubled tax on fast food restaurants is made permanent, as it will also be applied to all non-health foods in supermarkets and convenience stores as well.

• Obesity will be outlawed, no previous permits will be honored nor will any funds be returned.  People will have 90 days upon activation of the ordinance to lose enough weight to not be considered fat anymore.  After that, they may be fined $50 if they are found within 15 feet of an entrance to a fast food restuarant.  Obese and fat people will also have to pay a special fat tax surcharge on all property and vehicles they own, which should be in the neighborhood of an additional 12,5-15,5%.

• The Airport FUT Tax becomes permanent, but is increased to $40 per day of the visit to Austin.  Permits to allow stays of 30 days or more will cost $1000 a month.

AUSThIN:

To contact AUSThIN
email the organization at austhin@gmail.com